Tortuous days and nights I’ve spent considering my worth in my own eyes and in the eyes of others. Finally, two conclusions: (i) I can deceive myself and (ii) I can multiply.
ONE. Appropriate self-evaluation lies between two pathological extremes; narcissism at one end, chronic self-deprecation at the other. Convince yourself you lie closer to narcissism and your self-worth troubles are over.
TWO. One’s worth in the eyes of others is more changeable than self-evaluated worth. I always used to avoid putting on different faces because I thought it was deceitful. Now I see it’s essential. I can be a hundred people in a week. The worth people assign me is less important than that which I assign myself, since at any one time they judge just one of my personas. I can discard an identity whenever I want, and in so doing discard its judgement, positive or negative. Next time I’ll use a different one.
I’m coming around to the idea of accepting my many forms. I’ll find a place between self-deprecation and narcissism and be content.
ONE. Appropriate self-evaluation lies between two pathological extremes; narcissism at one end, chronic self-deprecation at the other. Convince yourself you lie closer to narcissism and your self-worth troubles are over.
TWO. One’s worth in the eyes of others is more changeable than self-evaluated worth. I always used to avoid putting on different faces because I thought it was deceitful. Now I see it’s essential. I can be a hundred people in a week. The worth people assign me is less important than that which I assign myself, since at any one time they judge just one of my personas. I can discard an identity whenever I want, and in so doing discard its judgement, positive or negative. Next time I’ll use a different one.
I’m coming around to the idea of accepting my many forms. I’ll find a place between self-deprecation and narcissism and be content.